I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
A+ Viking dick
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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