don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
