that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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