Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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