He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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