You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
