People in love make me want to vomit
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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