My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
