He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
