I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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