At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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