i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
