Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
