i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just blew my weed a kiss
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
