handjob tips. give me some.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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