Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
