called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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