Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
