so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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