im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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