I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
