she was so not down for the gang bang
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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