I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize