mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
