found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
