It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
