thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
