walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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