just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize