In the future we'll all be gay
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
