Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
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