She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
