I think scott just propositioned me for sex
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
