Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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