What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
whose ass print is on the piano?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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