I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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