I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
