party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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