i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
