yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
