forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I have aggressive nipples.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
