I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
