there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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