how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
