I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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