i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
