I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
