Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
