brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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