My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
