what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
