He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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