please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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