I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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