Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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