I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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