Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
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