so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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